Where does this come from?

Inspiration comes from some of the strangest places sometimes.

Tonight I went to a Q&A with Matthew Lillard. I just joined this group, called AIA in Burbank and they do all kinds of classes and workshops and talks with pros and such... this was the first event since I joined and I thought, "you know what, I will go and check it out. I mean I don't really have anything else to do tonight (or on this night, since I did sign up a few weeks ago)

And... well, Damn! That is all I can really say about it. Now, I dug this guy in some of the movies I had seen him in - Hackers, Scream, Thir13en Ghosts and Scooby-doo... but I never really thought, "this is a guy to look up too" or "He really knows his shit"... I never thought anything bad about him - I was just shocked that I could learn so much about myself from listening to him... And I am so glad that I am in a place at my life where I could listen to him and take what he was saying to heart.

He talked about not letting your ego get in the way of your work - both in the "I'm to good for this" way as well as not letting fear get the better of you and giving a shit about failing, because we all do it - he does it all the time even though people think he is really successful he still has to work his ass off - and works harder now than he did when he was no one - not so he can keep being "someone" because he said he wasn't (he went with his family to Disney last week and no one noticed him, which he thought was so funny, since when he was 22 he thought everyone would know him after he hosted some Nick show... Very funny story) but so he could keep moving forward on this adventure of being an actor...

He talked about he was still training and you should always be, being ready for anything when you are in the room, "value added" - meaning what value does an agent or manager, or any member of your team bring to you and your team. He talked about choice - small acting vs. making real choices on camera and how exciting high energy is.

The three big things he said that really hit home was:

~ Never doubt being in LA - if you are an actor in America, this is the place to be. Broadway, cast from LA, New York and other national movies, all TV, commercials... all cast from LA - so if being an actor is what you want - this is the big dance, so never doubt that you made the right choice coming here.

~ "It's never enough" that no matter how high you get in this game, you always want more - even Matt Damon wants more (maybe to be George Clooney?) and you just want a few more lines on TV, then you want a lead, then when you have a TV show you want a movie... it is never enough, but remember to stay grounded in the real world and never lose the drive to want that next level - don't praise yourself and where you are at this moment too much, or you risk losing it all, and losing yourself in the muck.

~ And the one that hit me the hardest was the first thing and last thing that he said, "You can lie to everyone but yourself" He talked about having to look in the mirror and be accountable to yourself for your art and your craft. Working everyday, every moment, keeping in the fight, no matter how hard it gets and how much you want to give up, because it is going to suck, and you will always have to fight and it only gets harder, not easier. But you have to want it, to be the best, and to do it for yourself - because only you can look in the mirror and ask yourself "What did I do today? Did I work hard enough - and you know, you always know, if you did or you didn't. And don't let any excuse be enough to let yourself down."

So big words... lots to let sink into my brain... I am so happy I went, because I thought about what he said... and I'm not sure I like what I see when I look in the mirror and ask myself that question - but the good thing is I can make a change... you can always make another choice.

"To thy own self be true, and you shall be false to no man..."

J.

Days and Days going by...

Been a long couple of weeks - lots of working, Bree has been sick and I have been fighting off being sick with everything I have...

In the meantime, Doubting Thomason opened at the Two Roads Theatre in Studio City - which has been going good - about half to 3/4 full houses every night, laughing and loving the show. We have got some good, if short, reviews and so people who come out to see the show seem to like it alot.

Other than that, been working alot, out for auditions per usual and trying to find more acting work. I am looking back into more theatre here in LA and getting infront of casting people as much as I can.

Went and saw "Silver Surfer" at the DGA last week - fun movie, but wait for it to come out on cable and watch it for free =) Seeing a film at a private screening was cool though and the DGA is such a great place to see a movie. Great sound and picture, very quite and no ads or previews, just the movie - what an idea huh?

Plus there were all these amazing photos up of different films and the directors working on them - from Star Wars and Close Encounters, to Aliens and Spider-man - so amazing...

So, other than working, auditioning, the play and watching a bunch of movies, not doing a whole lot.

Love ya guys!

J.

On a side note, some of you know that I am a wrestling fan - and I was shocked and saddend by the news of Chris Beniot and his family - it really makes you wonder what drives someone who has it all to just snap... My thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends during this very hard time.

The Agent, The Rehearsals and MTV Movie Awards

So last night I had another meet-and-greet with a commercial agent. She was a wonderful woman named Slyvia Ferguson, runs her own company, named after herself, and she has been an agent for 15 years. She was real sweet but real "to the point" about how she sees this industry, what she wants from her actors and what an actor would want from her. She and I hit it off real well, laughing and joking around and then when I started to tell her about all the stuff I have been up to, she was real into it and said that she liked my look, my personallity and would be calling me - so that went great, because I would love to have someone like her on my team, working as hard for me as I am going to work.

This morning kinda sucked... Bree got called into work, and they wanted her to work tonight but she managed to switch it up to this afternoon. So I got to spend some time with Jabez, unpack, clean the apartment, do my online castings, get lunch with Steve, work on my script and watch the MTV Movie Awards - while the show itself was ok... nothing super great - the opening speech by Sarah Silverman, who hosted, was SO funny, I almost wet myself - so check it out if you can! And why 300 did not win best picture... when it was WAY better than Pirates II... I will never know.

So tonight is rehearsal for Doubting Thomason, which opens next week at the Two Roads Theatre... we are rehearsing at CBS... it is going to be an adventure, to say the least.

The rest of this afternoon is heading into work and getting some time off for this play, hitting the gym and doing a little shopping, plus dinner before rehearsal! Busy day off I must say =) I am back to work on Thursday, but I have lots to do till then...

So until next time....

J.

Best wishes goes out to S&K, I hope you are feeling better soon buddy!

Back we head to LA

So we just got back into LA today after a long week in Chicago and beyond.


We came in last week on Tues, hung out with some of the crew - Scott and Kel, Steve and Becky, Corey and Beth... plus Bree and myself, all at Brass. Good times, got to met Becky for the first time, she seems like a doll - very sweet.


Then the next day was all about the real reason we were home - Brian's big Graduation. We went to service (I say that because there was a full mass before they transitioned into graduation!?) and then went back to the Pavey house for cake and Xbox... well, Brian and I played Halo 2 online while the other did... whatever...


Thursday, Bree took her sister Steph and her buddy to get their nails done while I took the "muffin" wagon out around Crystal Lake and then that night I had dinner while Bree was putting out family fires.


Friday began the long part of the trip - starting with a 6 hour drive to the far side of the world - Greensberg, IN (I think that was the name of the town). Pop - 14... not really, but to me, it was like being in Oklahoma - it looked the same, which was kinda cool.


Over the course of the next few days, I hung out with Bree's mother, Nanny (the coolest 90 yr old lady on the planet) and the rest of her mother's family. We went to "The Legion" and had some beers, got to see the lake and ate... a lot. I also won a tough series of games of Yahtzee!


Sunday, after a home cooked meal, we drove the 6 hours back in on again, off again rain. (On the way there, it was sunny so we had the top down and I got the worst "farmer's tan" I have had in years! We went to Lansu's for dinner - saw Jack, who punched me the face and laughed (well, kinda... we were trying to get him to stop being such a cruboppel... and that seemed to be the key - note to self, get hit in the face, kids laugh!) =)


We then returned to the Pavey Home - which was our home base while we were in town - I hung with Brian and Halo'd for an hour or so while Bree showed her mom pictures... and then before bed we learned what kind of music turns on 16 yr old girl (Steph had friends over - and they ladies stayed for a sleep over...) Ahh... you learn something new every day... sometimes, not something you really wanted to ever know... but hey, I take what life lessons I can get.


So this morning we headed out at 4:15 am with Larry (Bree's Dad) driving us to the airport - he too was flying out this morning... and at 7am boarded our plane to head back home to LA. A limo met us at the airport and home we came. Bree couldn't wait to see Jabez and neither could I... while I love being back in McHenry, I also love being here and just wish I could be in both places. I mean, I hate having to go back to work... I wish I could just hang out all the time... that would rule... but it is nice to be back in LA.


We have a lot already going on this week. Neither one of us heads back to "work" till Thursday, but tonight I am meeting with another agent, tomorrow we are back in rehearsal for the play we are opening in next week and then I have a lot of other work that needs to be put off no longer. So while it seemed like we would have a few days to relax, we stepped off the plane and we are right back to work. =) Which is a good thing - I am sick of not work all the time as an actor - I want a TV show in the worst way and being home was nice, it gave me some time to think about all the things that are important to me... 90% of the trip was a blast and I cannot wait to come home again at Christmas... maybe again before then, but I am not sure that will happen (it will if we start filming this other movie... but we shall see what happens with all that)


Oh... and to the McHenry crew... we are not going to be able to be home through New Years this year... unless something really great happens in the next few months, we just will not be able to get off all the time that we need to be home for the wedding, Christmas and New Years.... sorry guys!


Well, I love you all and will talk to you in few days - give updates on the agent thing and the play and anything else sweet that happens!


J.